Been trying very hard not to care, not to bother. But sometimes the harder you try, the harder it gets to do just that.
I am not sure if I am being sensitive and petty now. My mind is in a mess for this moment, I just can’t seem to untie all the knots that I’ve tied up. Did I bring this upon myself? Perhaps.
People usually told me “Ashley, don’t bother so much”. Well, things do not happen to them. It is always easier to tell others what to do than telling ourselves. Am I not right?
I’ve been blaming myself for not being careful again, also been scolding myself for repeating the same mistake. Geez, there are just certain things that we would never learn the lessons. Would we? We would fall for the same thing, same reason, making the same mistake, over and over again, years after years.
Where did all the negative thoughts come from?! Now I am surprised. I have been surrounding myself with all the negativity. This is not the usual me. I feel like I am back to the “ME” 4 years ago. I can’t keep all this with me. I gotta find ways to shake them off. How do I clear my mind now? I cared too much and now I can’t let go. :( I held it so tight in my hands and now I can’t let it go……
I wish I could cry it all out…… Guess no one would understand why such a small matter would make me feeling so emotional…… Yeah, weeping is the first step.
I simply just, care too much…… A weakness that I could never overcome. I could only blame myself, not others.