Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

Exchange. Network.

Once upon a time, I was so naive and innocent to believe that I could do everything on my own and I do not need helps from others. I, myself and me is the most reliable person in the world as you can’t trust most of the people out there in this world.

Now, 8 years of working life, totally changed my views, my ways of doing things, my mentality and my perceptions.

I was so surprised to see myself doing so well in a conference full of strangers the other day. Most of them are more senior than me and they’re nice people who have no problem at all in listening and guiding the junior. The exchange and sharing of information is so interesting and mind provoking. These truly are the people that you will want to mix around with.

I used to be very shy when there’s a stranger around and I did not talk much. I did not even bother to build any kind of relationship with any stranger, whether or not they could be of some help at some point in life later on, I did not care. I had a lot of friends, I was young and energetic, I could take on the world on my own. That’s how I thought.

Stepped into the working society, I was still living in my own bubble. I had colleagues and superiors, I worked well with them. Obviously, that wasn’t enough. The people skills, the soft skills that I was lacking of, got me hitting the walls all the time. I was so green and eager to climb the corporate ladders, I pushed myself so hard to perform better than anyone else in the department. Yes, my good performance won me a permanent job and later a better pay, but that wasn’t enough.

Colleagues and peers back then often commented that I was hard to deal with and so unapproachable. I tried to improve, and am glad that I did.

I continued to excel in my career until it came to a point that the company I was with could not offer me the best to keep me anymore. I was ready to fly.

Then, I got cheated deliberately by peers, all because I trust people easily. No one told me that I should be wary of my peers even when they were so friendly. Nobody taught me how to handle the tough people when I got whacked left, right, centre and back. None has warned me of the people who may use me as a tool when I fell head over heels into it. I learned everything the hard way, paid the price to get the lesson.

I am glad that I went through it all to say that I am a better person than yester-year or even yesterday. I know how to speak their language in order not to turn the conversation into a battle. I picked up a few good things along the line and now they’re my best assets.

I changed from an introvert to an extrovert. I could make new friends in an instant where I used to take months to get familiar with new friends. I make an effort to make sure I stay in touch with friends. I socialise when there’s a need. I network with total strangers in seminars or conferences. I speak in public with confidence. The best one is, I could turn my back on the negative people instantly.

Well, I still make mistakes and lose control of my emotions, but hey, learning never ends. Those who never learns from mistakes and lessons, will never understand how another person did it and got this far. I feel proud to say that I got this far because of my enriching experiences, good or bad.

Performance alone, is never gonna be enough. Character and the image you have, are the things that will take you far. I am molding myself for some new character. It’s not easy, I have to always remind myself to say or do things from another perspective. See, I am still changing. That is the reason why, people change and sometimes you will find yourself do not get along with someone anymore. You have grown out of his life and so has he. There is nothing wrong with it.

It’s been a long time I have not taken time to “write” myself out like this for some self motivation. Ahh…… What a bliss to count my blessings and know that I am in a better place of where I wanted to be.


2 responses

  1. I’m guessing that you are sharing your feelings about working life here….I think I won’t be the first person to tell you that…working life or even social life is always like that. People may seem nice in front of you…but in real…they don’t meant that way…’these are call hypocrites’. You can never control that nor…you wouldn’t know who they are….

    If you are referring to working life..that’s where I’m stuck here now..hehe…I won’t say that I’m having a real good pay..nor I am receiving special benefits here…but I am too comfortable with the small cubicle, small circle of colleagues and the flexibility that I couldn’t complain much.

    June 6, 2011 at 10:29 AM

    • Ashley

      Yalor, agreed with you ler. Hypocrites are all over the place. Some are even so jealous of what you do/have.

      Me too ler Mel Mel, stuck here for the flexibility. What people said is true, when you’re too comfortable at one place, it’s not a good thing, ‘cos u never want to move your “butt” away from that nice warm area. Hahahaha……

      June 6, 2011 at 11:52 AM

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