Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

Financially Independent ≠ I Do Not Rely On Man

A friend shared a photo in Facebook, I shared it on my Facebook wall too. The photo is shouting this:


I reposted it to Andrew’s Facebook, with a cheeky caption, “my love, I never treat you like an ATM right? You’re my cash register only.”

That, attracted some comments from friends. Harmless, but arguable.

A friend said, I am a modern career woman, I can’t say like that. Meaning, I cannot rely on man anymore as I am financially independent.

Yes, I am a modern career woman. I have a career of which I would like to advance further. I earn enough (not a lot) for my living. I make sure I am not deprived of my needs. I ensure that my voice is heard if I am not happy. Most of all, I strongly believe that I make my own destiny.

However, I rely on my man, Andrew, a lot. First would be, I do not like to drive, I love being driven around. I enjoy the moment that my husband is able to drive me around. I soak myself in that blissful moment. Some argued that I have to know how to drive in the case of emergency. Yes, I do know how to drive, but I do not wish for that emergency moment.

I too, rely on him to give me sound advise when it comes to making life decision. He doesn’t make the decision for me, he just lays down all the options and consequences. I still have all the freedom to decide and he will always be there to show his support.

Do you believe that I ask for my husband’s opinion when it comes to fashion too? :) When Andrew says it’s ugly, it’s ugly. When he says OK, it means nothing to shout about. If he says GOOD, he means it’s nice but you don’t need it. When he says PRETTY, you know you just gotta buy that dress! More often than not, he would tell me to buy what I like instead of telling me NOT to buy. Of course, I am not spending his hard-earned money on myself. I pay my own bill.

I love to rely on Andrew. It is a bliss to know that you have someone to fall back to whenever you’re feeling low. It doesn’t matter if I appear to be strong and independent to the world, I very much would still like to rely on my husband. It’s the feminine side of me that wants to rely on him, not because I can’t be independent.

Another friend commented that he heard this from a lady, “My man does not need to support me(financially), but he has to be ABLE to support me”. 我的男人可以不养我,可是他必须有养我的能力。I find it to be very true.

I shall not go into the topic of equality between men and women, that is something that you could argue FOREVER.

All I’m saying is, I rely on my man, does not mean I am not financially independent. I am financially independent, does not mean that I do not need to rely on my man.


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