Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

Self Confidence

How confident do you feel about yourself as a whole?

I regard myself as a person who is confident, both physically and mentally. I am not perfect, I have my flaws, but I still feel confident about myself. Be careful here, feeling confident about oneself is totally different from arrogant. I don’t think I am arrogant. Am I?

I have friends, a lot of friends. Some are good, some are bad. Nonetheless, they’re friends.

The good ones, will always reinforce my confidence level. They will tell me I am fine if I criticise myself too much. They rely on me to make certain decisions, which makes me feel I am valued. They will say I look good when I really look good. They give me a pat on the back to tell me that I did well, and they give me a hug to let me know that I am a friend to them. These are the friends, who make me feel good about being myself, keep my confidence level high.

The bad ones, once in a while will say things to belittle me. They don’t criticise nor compliment me. They often teach me what to do. When I did well, they don’t give a damn. They turn to me for opinions or advices, but they do not listen. Ironically, these people keep me on my toes. Yes, I am not perfect, these are the people who always remind me that I am not an angel with wings. I am merely an angel with broken wings that can’t even fly. Hahahaha.

Of course, over the years, I’ve learned to love and appreciate myself more. Years ago, I started to look at myself differently and everything changed. I used to be very conscious about my crooked teeth, but I realised that it is a part of me. Either I get it fixed, or I have to live with it, happily or sadly. It is not a big deal, no one is perfect. :) That realisation, boosted my confidence.

I used to complain that I have small bosom. :P Fortunately, I met this nice lady in a lingerie shop that taught me how to wear my size right and what to wear. I’ve been wearing the wrong size for more than 10 years! Hey, I’m not that “small”! Also, it’s good to be average. I do not have the problem of finding the right size of shirt but only to know that I can’t button up at the bust! All my tops, fit me just right and snugly. :) No bulging breasts that make the shirt looks like it’s gonna burst! :P Sorry if I offended you.

I once thought I did not have enough work experiences, I always asked for second opinion before I made any decisions. One day, I realised I had to be on my own, I had to make mistakes, or else I would never learn and grow. It turned out that I am actually capable of solving every problem. My capabilities are way beyond what I thought. Now, I act and speak with confidence.

It is only right to say that I have come a long way to reach this state of self confidence. Sometimes, all it takes is a shift of mind. Change the way you look at yourself, shift your focus from your flaws to your strengths, find ways to compliment your flaws instead of covering them……

I never said that it is going to be easy, but once you find that changing point, everything will follow. :)

In the past, when people told me I am pretty, I would reply “really? sure or not? you’re kidding!” I realised that it was rude, you are not just questioning yourself but also questioning the other person’s judgement. Now, when people tell me I am pretty, I’d say thank you, with a smile. :) Whether he/she is being diplomatic, it doesn’t matter, I’ll just say thank you. The more often I do that, the more confident I feel about myself and the prettier I become. Hahahahaha. It is true, when you feel good about yourself, you carry it on your face and people will see. :P

Be confident, not arrogant though. Love yourself more, and people will love you more. :)

A friend told me, people who use make-up is because that person is lack of confidence about her appearances. I think, it is not entirely true. I know my eyes are not big, but they are unique and pretty (aiyooo… I’m not self-praising ok). :) So, I use make-up to make my eyes the focus of the face instead of my mouth. I know I have nice natural eyebrows too, I use little make-up to highlight them. So, make-up is used to accentuate your features, not to boost your confidence. It only boosts your confidence for the period where you wear make-up, after you remove your make-up? You can’t use “quick-fix” here to boost your confidence, it is not for long. It’s the same with buying and wearing all the branded stuff to make yourself look good. How long can it last?

Beauty, is a depreciating asset. Self confidence and love for yourself, is a life-time investment. Now, do you want to invest in a depreciating asset, or a life-time investment with returns? :)

2 responses

  1. Nice one Ash…
    Nice reading it…I like the way you sentence them. ;-)

    April 20, 2012 at 10:21 AM

    • Ashley

      ooiii… so nice ke? Hahahaha… Ooops, should say thank you! LOL!

      April 20, 2012 at 10:37 AM

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