Read a post from Moment Matters, Bullying Helps. Reminded me of the not-so-good times I had experienced long time ago.
Bullying, as explained in Wikipedia:
Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others, particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of power. It can include verbal harassment, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability. The “imbalance of power” may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a “target”.
Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal, and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways.
Whether intentionally or unintentionally, words can be as harmful as knives.
Recalling the experiences…… I had this close girlfriend, who constantly told me that I was such a “princess”. She would tell me that I was such a princess to be so scared to go into the water near the waterfall which was nothing dangerous at all. She would say that she didn’t understand why I needed to feel so disgusted when I saw cockroaches on Fear Factor because I wasn’t the one who had to go through it all. She would tell me that she didn’t understand why I had to “analyse” so much before doing everything. Constantly, she was telling me I was behaving like a princess and it got on her nerves. She would say it in front of other friends and there was once it got back to my ears that she told others the same behind my back. She told people it was a nuisance to travel together with me. She was a sweet girl nonetheless.
After college, we remained friends for some time. She and I didn’t keep in touch as often as before. When we went shopping, she would tell me she was not as “rich” as me to shop in certain malls or shops. Our final trip together turned out to be an unhappy one. We did not quarrel nor argue, but things happened. I told myself that that would be the last time I’d ever travel together with her, and that was it. Back then, I thought I was the sensitive one, and I would ask myself the same questions over and over again. Sometimes I would even turn to Andrew and ask if I was such a bad person to deserve all those remarks for all those years. Came my wedding, her behavior put me off big time and I know I had to stop befriending her. Even my family found her behavior odd.
I’ve tried very hard to change myself too. Spent nearly 2 years to overcome the thought of I-am-not-good. Come to think of it, I have to thank her. Without her, I wouldn’t be a BETTER person now.
Not everyone is as lucky as I am, to have a good support system and guidance during the journey of recovering from being bullied. Also, not everyone has a mind of their own to judge things objectively and come out from a dilemma. I am grateful that I have a family who always tells me that I am a kind person and Andrew who is always there to analyse things and reason them for me. My analysing ability has also helped me in seeing things from another perspective, not to limit myself to just one point of view for the longest of time.
I’m sure we all have been bullied, serious or not, at some point in our life. In school, college, university, and even workplace. It depends on how you react or respond to them. From the lessons I’ve learned, I am now capable of handling bullies in the workplace.
No matter how strong you are, have you been bullied before?