Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

To Go Or Not?

What do you say whenever your friends or colleagues or relatives ask you out?

Do you always say, “erm… Let’s see how when the day comes”?

Or, “I’m not sure if I’ll be free then”?

Or, “well, I may not be able to make it then but tentatively I’m ok”?

Or, “I’ll be free if I have nothing on”?

Or, “where are we going? What are we eating? What time? Who else is going? Hmm……”?

Or, “I will try to go but I can’t promise”?

Well, we know that you all have a life and you’re busy and all that. However, is it really so difficult to just say, YES or NO?

First of all, if that is someone I do not wish to go out with, I will just quickly say that I won’t be free and sorry that I can’t make it. It is just that easy. No art or skill needed.

Other than that, my answer is always pretty quick and clean, “YES, I’ll see you then”, “NO, sorry I won’t be free”. If I am keen to meet, I’ll even suggest to meet another day.

I wonder why some people find it so difficult to make up their mind. I am sure you know your own schedule. If you already have a plan for that day, why can’t you just say so? There is seriously no need to say tentatively you’re ok or that you will try but you can’t promise.

If you are going to meet a friend for a good catch up or gathering, does the place and food really matter? No point in asking where to meet and what to eat.

What? You can’t because you’re not sure if you will be free then? C’mon, I am asking you now, shouldn’t you be reserving that particular day for me then? First come first serve, haven’t you heard of it? Unless you don’t want to see me, otherwise, that is a very lame excuse.

I’ve been getting all of the excuses as stated above, from friends/colleagues/relatives. When I get that few more times, I stop asking these people out. I stop taking initiative to be the first one to ask them. If  they’re really keen in seeing me, now they take the first step. I have tried and I am tired of it.

There are some who will always tell me that I never ask them out, but when I do, they will tell me how busy they are and they can’t make it. So I told them, you come ask me when you are free. Then, they never ask. Few months down the road, the same question pops up again, that when am I free to meet them? Sigh…… Why can’t you just give me a date and I will tell you if I’ll be able to make it?!

Then, there are these people, who always say that they’re OK for the time being, but they can’t promise if there’s going to be any last minute changes. I would be like, WTF! You have already made a date with me, how can there be any last minute changes? OK, fine, emergency matter, I totally understand. But do you need to say that every time?

I appreciate those who always give me an absolute answer, “yes, Ashley, I’ve marked my calendar for you”, “no, Ashley, can we make it maybe next week?” I love them! We will always work on the best date for each other and we stick to it and we wait for the day to come, all done just within a few minutes. If there is any changes later, first thing first we will always inform the other one and we work on another date again. It is just so easy but I just can’t understand why some people can’t seem to do that.

If I don’t ask you out again, I’m sure you know why. Please don’t blame me for not asking you out again. I have tried (and I’m sure you know it too), and I have failed too many times. If you are still unsure of the way I will respond to your request, don’t bother asking then, ’cause that shows that you don’t know me at all.

When I tell you my calendar is still empty for all the weekends in June, take my words and go pick a day. I’ll surely say yes, provided if I’m keen to see you. :P


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