Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

Make It Work

It is not easy to make a relationship work, what’s more a marriage.

I’m not an expert in marriage or relationship, all I know is, nothing will work if you do not put in any effort.

If you don’t make the effort to initiate the connection, don’t expect the other person to always knock on your door to say hello.

If you don’t show your spouse that you love him, don’t expect him to show you the love too.

If you don’t talk to your spouse of how you feel, don’t expect him to feel your sorrows and joy.

If you just sit there and do nothing but only hope the love will work its magic forever and live happily ever after, even Cinderella has to walk up the stairs to go in to the palace to meet Prince Charming. What makes you think you can sit and do nothing?

My relationship with Andrew isn’t always sweet and loving. We’ve been through the downs too. However, we work things out instead of sweeping all the issues under the carpet and waiting for them to surface again.

We have this mutual understanding that if one of us is doing something that makes the other person feels uncomfortable, we have to say it right away. Whether it triggers an argument or giggle, we will have to deal with it together. I made him angry once, seriously angry, he did not talk to me for 3 days. I am lucky that we sorted it out. During that 3 days, it made me realised that I can’t live a normal life without him. He too realised that he can never give me up. We are closer than ever.

We know we are different from each other, but we are willing to stay together to make things work.

We see each other everyday, but we will miss each other even when we are separated for only one day. We enjoy the alone time, but we also enjoy the company of each other. He is the reason that I want to have a home and family with, and I am his reason. We don’t stop loving each other, because we don’t stop making things work.

I’ve often heard people saying how their relationship with the spouse becomes a dull or even a sour one after 10 years of marriage. They would say that they do not have common topics to talk about any more, they don’t have common interests too, they don’t talk unless there are things to talk about the children, they don’t care about each other’s feelings any more, they can’t even look the other person in the eyes, they don’t go out shopping together any more and they fight over the smallest things.

Isn’t he or she is the one you wish to wake up to everyday? What happens to those promises? That person hasn’t changed at all, but what makes you think it is different now? Are you sure it is the common topics and interests that matter? Do you seriously not care about each other’s feelings any more? Is it really the smallest things that you fight over for?

Love, still exists no matter how long you are married. It just takes another form.

Marriage isn’t the end of the road, marriage is the beginning of all the hard work.

You do not stop loving each other, you simply stop making love works.

They say, “make love”. Now you know why.

Love, is an action, not an adjective.

No one can guarantee you a happy marriage except yourself. YOU have to make it work, not waiting for the other person to work it alone.

Perseverance and patience, are vital in the journey of marriage.


2 responses

  1. Blurcheryl

    Well said!! Applause Applause

    October 18, 2012 at 6:22 PM

    • Ashley

      LOL! I’ve heard a lot of funny reasons from couples lah. I really wonder why they can’t just sit down and talk. To think that they got through thick and thin to be married, and to ask for divorce over some small issue, I was like, “WTF! You don’t even make effort to solve the problem and just take the easy way out!”

      Or worse, use all those things I mentioned above to have an affair. Create another problem to solve the problem, how great!

      Sorry, just all these people using lame excuses like that to give up a marriage/relationship make me feel annoyed. :P

      October 18, 2012 at 6:52 PM

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