Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

Why Are We Even Friends?

When I was reading Dan’s blog, We Shouldn’t Be Friends by Any Account, the people that came to my mind were them:


More often than not, we make most of our friends when we are in school. Those friends, are our classmates, also partners in crimes, and friends. When we go to college, we make new friends too, if you’re lucky. When we start working, we have co-workers/colleagues, some of these people become our friends too. You see, the places where we make new friends, are pretty much, predictable. Of course, there are examples of making new friends over the internet and some other strange places. For me, I met this bunch of incredible people in a wedding forum.

It started with us ladies, planning our weddings. We needed information, where else to go to when the world wide web is the easiest and fastest way. We joined this wedding forum, we exchanged ideas, information, advices, thoughts, opinions, jokes, tears…… Five of us, got especially close to each other. Why? I don’t know.

Then, it blossomed into real-life friends. We met up, with the rest of the bride-to-be’s. However, five of us would meet more frequent. We even had our own chat group on MSN and every night we would gather at 8pm or 9pm and chat. We talked about everything under the sky and we laughed at almost every joke.

In between, things happened. Can’t remember what exactly, I’d like to think that’s just how things work.

First, it was only us, the ladies. We’re not really close in age. Our age gap is in between 3 to 6 years. We also come from different places and we were brought up in different culture. We are actually very different. Somehow, we click. Not in a million years I thought I could be friends with them.

Melissa, aka Mel Mel, is the “gentle” one among us. She laughs, she jokes, she talks, but she’s never loud. Once in a while she will say something that crack all of us up big time. She LOVES food, and she doesn’t like HOT. However, she would go under the hot sun for food. Hahahahaha. Usually, I will snort at this sort of “puteri lilin”. C’mon lah, you’re living in Malaysia, if you can’t stand the sun and hot weather, where else can you go? But, we are still friends. The rest of us will always make fun of her “puteri lilin” side, but she’s cool with that.

Wan Yi, we call her “Ah Yi” most of the times. :P She has the loudest laugh!!! When she gets excited, she will laugh so loud that we all at one point think the walls are going to collapse! She’s the youngest among us, we all sometimes treat her like lil’ sister. She is Singaporean. You know, I’m very sceptical towards Singaporean. I usually can’t stand them. To top that, Wan Yi is so much younger than me, she’s even younger than my younger sister. I don’t always click with “small” sister. But well, we are still friends. She has a big heart, she can take whatever crap this BIG sister throws at her. :p

There’s Nicole, we nicknamed her “Ah Nic”. She can cook and bake good stuff! We used to go to her home and eat! Hahahaha. And Wii-ing together. I don’t see her as often as the rest, but we still keep in touch. She will always make effort to meet us. I don’t usually have a lot to talk to friends that I don’t see regularly. You know, that awkward moment when you meet a friend that you didn’t see for a long time, you go “hello, how are you”, and the silence that follows…… Somehow, Nicole is an exception.

Honestly, they’re not exactly the type of friends I would be seen associated with if you look at my personality. However, it turned out that they’re the closest friends that I now have. We don’t get jealous of each other, we don’t badmouth each other, we don’t lie to each other…… We agree, but we also disagree. We have good and bad times, but our hearts still bring us together. I guess Dan is true in saying, friends just kind of “happen.”

Over the time, we include our husbands. Surprisingly, our husbands get along just fine. We often go out and travel together. We don’t really care how much the other person is earning and the background, so long as we are happy together.

Friends, may not always be there. So, be grateful when they are.


I used to have a lot of friends, good friends, best friends…… Most of them are history now. I wish someone could have told me when I was much younger that true friends show up only when you’re in trouble. That would have prepared me for all the heartaches.


8 responses

  1. Wahh…I am featured in this post! TQ ashhhh… HUGS!!
    You guys very long no call me puteri lilin edi wor…
    I do not have ‘best friend’… but I do have ‘good friends’… which is a better term I felt :-)
    I like this sentence—> “We don’t really care how much the other person is earning and the background, so long as we are happy together.”
    Guess many ppl may not belif that we actually knw each other thru forum :-p

    p/s: I macam look quite fat in that 1st pic le… must be due to the 5 days eating spree :-p

    November 20, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    • Ashley

      Angle problem lah, not you fat. Hahahaha.

      Many ppl thought we are friends long time liao lor. Hahahahaha.

      November 20, 2013 at 5:49 PM

  2. mrshomely

    I have to agree with you on this 200%!!! haha
    The one friend I got, who knows every single secret I have, who I share happiness and sadness and the one I trust if anything happen to me while travel (mana tau suddenly accident) she is the person who will sort out things for me. She’s my ex-colleague and turn out to be the person I love very much as a friend and treat her like a family member.

    While I still stay in close touch with childhood friends its different when you make new friends in adulthood. Sometimes you’ll never know .. the person who doesn’t gives you good impression might turn out to be the closest to you one day.

    Myself as my bestie group told me I am a chronic bitch. Now? We are close friends and we don’t wear mask with each other. We tell each other off, we talk our differences, we yell at each other, cry together laugh, argued & turn red face in the very next second. All these can happen in a day but in the end we felt good with each other’s company. That’s the most important thing. Help each other and be true to each other.

    I see you 4 have a strong bonding as well!!! Keep it up!

    November 21, 2013 at 11:51 AM

    • Ashley

      It’s great to have ONE friend that you can share everything ler. I hope I continue to have friends like that till I’m very very old.
      You’re right, childhood friends and friends we made after that are very different. I think that’s because we’ve changed/grown up. People say don’t judge a book by its cover, the same goes to friends.
      I’m not a chronic bitch, but sometimes I can be very straight forward and it hurts people without me knowing. I’m lucky to have friends that understand that. Even my childhood friends couldn’t understand that. And you know, this is the first time I have friends that really show me that they care about my well being rather than they only want to have fun when they’re with me. Now I feel cherished. In the past, I always felt tired because I had to be on my toes constantly to please my friends.

      November 21, 2013 at 1:42 PM

  3. mrshomely

    With true friends you don’t need to please la my dear.
    You accommodate them

    November 21, 2013 at 5:25 PM

    • Ashley

      Very true lor!

      November 21, 2013 at 6:08 PM

  4. Wow it’s really nice when hubby also can click sama sama. ♥

    November 22, 2013 at 1:37 AM

    • Ashley

      Ya, we’re lucky our husbands can click.

      November 25, 2013 at 5:29 PM

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