I know exactly what my strengths and weaknesses are. I have a not-so-cool temper (which has become better these days) and I can be blunt at times.
When someone keeps telling me over and over again that I am “too sensitive”, I started to question myself. All my life before I met this person, no one has ever told me that I am too sensitive.
When I started questioning myself, I also started to find answers. I found out that, I am not the one who is sensitive. That person who told me that I am is actually the one who’s always being too sensitive to everything I say and do. He/she is the one who always misunderstands what I say or do and then replies with something hurtful, and then goes on and calls me being “too sensitive” when I react. What? Am I supposed to take all the crap that you give me and I’m not allowed to even flinch?
I don’t get sensitive when I’m around others, others don’t tell me that I am sensitive. Only this particular person who is constantly telling me and others that I am “TOO SENSITIVE”.
I was so curious and I Google-d what actually being “too sensitive” means. Found this that explains so well, Been Told You’re “Too Sensitive”?
Your boundaries are your boundaries. It’s not up to anyone else to tell you about your own comfort levels or ‘correct’ them to fit around their own agenda.
Your feelings are your feelings. Some people aren’t bothered by certain things but that doesn’t invalidate your position. And yes, some people aren’t bothered by certain things because they have empathy issues so as long as they ‘feel’ (they’re not tapping into many emotions) OK with something and like their perspective, they won’t understand what you’re ‘in a flap’ about.
I have made a lot of changes to myself lately. Especially at work. I am happier and more of myself when I’m at work now. I never thought that just by being myself can be so liberating, and happy. I finally came to accept that those who can’t accept me even when I was trying very hard to please, will never accept me for who I am. Surprisingly, when I show the real me, those who didn’t agree with me in the past are actually the ones who noticed the change and started to embrace the real me. The happiest thing is not that I’ve changed to become a better person, it is when I heard “Ashley, I changed because you changed”. Now I understand it is so important for me to be myself and not trying to please people.
I know clearly that I am not a “too sensitive” person because when I’m around my other friends and family, I can tell them exactly what they have offended me and they will explain to me and they never for once say that I am being “too sensitive”. They acknowledge what I’m feeling!
For those that still think I’m “too sensitive”, take a mirror and look at yourself. Who’s the one being too sensitive here?
Oh wait, if I say the statement above, I will become a nasty abuser and all of a sudden I am not “too sensitive” anymore but rude and disrespectful. Sigh……
My motto now is, stop pleasing everyone, and start being REAL. Just be nice and true to yourself.