Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

The Impossible

My period was late. Never did it cross my mind that something was amiss. Sometimes it did come late. Four days past…… Hmm…… Five days…… A week……

Me: Something somewhere not right, my period is late for a week.
Him: Huh…… Hmm……
Me: But I feel all the PMS, swollen and sore breasts and some discomforts.
Him: Then just wait lah.

8 days…… I couldn’t take it anymore. Went to the pharmacy and bought a home pregnancy test although in my mind I was thinking, “it’s bloody impossible!”

Him: Don’t worry lah. I have a feeling that it’s false alarm lah.
Me: Hope you’re right. Impossible also lah.

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The next morning I took the test. Double line!!!! NO! You second line go away!!!! I waited another 5 minutes hoping the other line would go away! It didn’t…… Bloody hell!!!! How can it be????!!!!!!!! My heart sank……

Yes, I have to admit, I wasn’t feeling happy. I’ve had everything planned and I didn’t like this SURPRISE! I’ve had two miscarriages before, I can’t deal with another one in such a short time and especially this is another “unplanned” one!

Me: Congratulations, you’re going to be a father.
Him: HUH……………. Okay…………..
Me: How can it be lah…… Impossible lah…… Bloody hell……

Andrew was having mixed feelings, he was happy but worried too. I was sad for two days. I couldn’t accept the fact that I am pregnant! I kept questioning, how could it be, why now, why, how now…… This came as a bigger surprise than the first pregnancy. I was so giving up on trying and moved on to make other plans. Now this!!! Geez…… I should be more careful! ARGH!!!

After been to the doctor, saw that tiny sac, I finally accepted. There it is. I just hope it won’t miscarry this time.

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