Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

Change of Status

It’s been a while since I last blogged. I admit it was due to my laziness. My pregnant self got even more lazy and every time when I wanted to blog/write, my mind went blank. It’s not easy to have a little human inside you, I guess my little human also sucked my inspiration dry. LOL!

It’s 2015, and it’s February. My baby girl, Lucy came to meet this world on 4th of February.

Now, here’s my birth story. I’d better write it down while I still remember. The pregnant brain got worse after delivery, my memory is so poor nowadays.

I went in to induce labour on the 3rd, which was the expected due date. I did not want to wait for another week of which doctor told me I could. Lucy was already measuring 3.3kg, I worried if I were to wait for another week she would grow bigger and I may not be able to have a normal vaginal birth.

Went to the hospital after breakfast, I was both nervous and scared. Finally, the day has come. I was induced at 12pm, the mild contractions started shortly after. Doctor told us sometimes some people would need a second dose of induction if the pelvic did not dilate the next day. I hope it won’t happen to me.

We waited, contractions got worse that night. It came at every 5 minutes, I couldn’t sleep although the pain was still bearable. The nurses kept asking me I would like an injection for the pain, I rejected as I know it wouldn’t help and I could still cope. I finally got through the night. My plan to welcome Lucy on the 3rd failed.

9.30am, 4th February. Doctor came and did an internal examination and told me I have dilated 2cm and he would break the water bag and put me on drip to make the contractions grow stronger to help with the progress. He said I should be seeing my baby girl later that afternoon. He was such a nice doctor, he reassured me that I do not need epidural as he was confident that I could cope with the pain.

10am, the contractions got stronger and longer. I used the laughing gas to help with the pain.

1pm, I urged Andrew to go home for lunch and all before my contractions got worse and Lucy’s arrival. When he was not around, the nurse came and asked me if I would want the injection for the pain. I know it wouldn’t help with the pain, so I rejected. She then told me that I was in so much pain and my body was all tensed up, the injection could at least help me relax my muscles and help with the dilation. I took the injection, not because of the pain, but I wanted the labour to progress quickly! Silly me to believe the nurse, the injection didn’t help, at all!

3.30pm, I was in so much pain that I could feel that the baby was constantly forcing her way out. I told Andrew to get the doctor as I thought baby was coming out! Doctor came and did a check, dilation was about 3cm to 4cm. He told me I could wait till 5pm, after the water bag broke, we had to deliver the baby within 8 hours. But he also said no guarantee that by 5pm the dilation would be more but most likely it would. And if at 5pm the dilation got to 6cm, then he would wait for another hour for it to get to 10cm.

I was in so much pain and frustrated that the labour progress so slowly! I was crying to Andrew and we were discussing if we want to go for a c-section. Andrew wanted me to wait, I know he didn’t want to see me got cut open. But I was so frustrated and upset with the whole labour thing and I asked him “why do you want to do this to me”. Hahaha. It is just something that I said out of stress, I didn’t really mean it that way. :P

Finally, I decided to go for c-section. Doctor said Andrew couldn’t be in the operating room with me since it was considered as emergency. I was so sad that Andrew couldn’t witness the birth of Lucy.

I was awake during the procedure, it was only half body anaesthesia. Within 10 minutes, doctor showed me baby’s bottom, “what did I tell you?” “It’s a girl……” And then they took the baby away for cleaning and checks. I wept. Finally my baby is out…… I could hear her wailing and crying at the back, I was surprised that her cries were so gentle. The nurse brought the baby to me, I gave her a kiss and she brought Lucy out to the nursery to meet Andrew.

I wanted to give birth naturally, end up I had a c-section. My whole pregnancy had not been easy, and now the labour was also not an easy one. Sigh…… Even my breastfeeding journey was not a smooth one.

Lucky that I recovered very fast from the c-section. Must thank Dr. Suhaimi for his skills and professionalism. He is truly a good doctor.

To this day, I still can’t believe that I gave birth to Lucy, another human being. Many nights I would wake up in the middle of the night, sit there and watch her sleep, and think “is it real that she came from me”. Sometimes I would cry thinking that I’m now a mother to this cute little human. Sometimes I worry too much and fear that I have not been taking good care of her. The tears and joy of a parent……

I also find it unbelievable that my status is now a “MUM”. Yes, I am a mother of one, my baby Lucy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s