Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

My Rainbow

Do you know that a child born after a miscarriage is called a rainbow baby?

Lucy is my special rainbow baby, after 2 miscarriages.

Just when I was about to move on with my life of not having a baby, rainbow happened.

After the second miscarriage in late 2013, I was heartbroken. I was not desperately for a baby, my heart broke because it’s another live gone. My body and mental just couldn’t take the disappointment again.

I went for my long overdue pap-smear in early May 2014, wanted to move on. I even had plans to go Tibet and Mount Everest base camp with Andrew in 2015. We both decided it’s time to stop thinking about the baby and focus on ourselves. My gynae even suggested to me to take the Hepatitis B injections since I stopped planning for baby. I told him I needed some time to think about the injections (not cheap ok). It was a blessing in disguise that I did not take the first injection that day.

Early of June 2014, I found out I was pregnant and I was both shocked and disappointed. I have so many plans and all of a sudden they went down the drain.

Took me quite a while to accept the reality. And took me a long time to stop worrying about miscarriage.

Everyone would ask me why I named her Lucy. I can’t tell you exactly why. The name appeared few months into the pregnancy, even before we know the gender. I told Andrew if it’s a girl I would want to name her Lucy, and I had a strong feeling that it was going to be a girl.

I got curious why would the name appear out of no where and I felt so strongly to it. I went Google the meaning of the name, partly also I want to make sure it doesn’t mean something negative. Wikipedia says:

Lucy is an English and French feminine given name derived from Latin masculine given name Lucius with the meaning as of light (born at dawn or daylight, maybe also shiny, or of light complexion). Alternative spellings are Luci, Luce, Lucie. Lucy is also an American, Australian, Canadian, English, Irish, Scottish, Welsh and French surname.

LIGHT! How apt. She was the light at the end of the tunnel, just when I thought all hopes were gone. There she came, brighten up our life.

Lucy, truly my light, my rainbow.

2 responses

  1. maggie

    so so so happy for u!

    June 8, 2015 at 4:48 PM

    • Ashley

      Thank you Mag. :)

      June 8, 2015 at 5:06 PM

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