The Growing Bean

It’s been a while since I updated my pregnancy journey.

I am now 24 weeks, been feeling baby move everyday. Sometimes she gets lazy like mommy, sometimes she can move all day long. :) It’s weird that how you wish you could feel her more and when she kicks up a storm you wish that she would be quiet for a while. It’s like what the doctor told me, baby kicks are not exactly fun, they are annoying most of the times. I still feel amazing how our body can grown another human being, every kick and movement I feel is amazing. There’s a life growing in there!!!

Right now, when I look back at the early stage of my pregnancy, I still shudder. No one would ever understand what I have gone through. Yes, it’s called morning sickness, and all that people know is you vomit. Little do they know that it can get so serious than just vomiting. My younger sister, who went through morning sickness during her pregnancy, would also give me advices like eat crackers, drink warm water, take small meals, it will be over soon, it’s like that…… I was a little upset that she too couldn’t understand it, and I was upset that I couldn’t make people understand it. Yes, I’m lucky that I have a baby, I’m grateful. However, that doesn’t mean I am not allowed to feel bad. I am so grateful that I have a husband who is willing to go all out to take care of me during those difficult times. I too feel bad for him that he had to go through all that with me. I tell ya, it was not easy for him.

Lately, the comment that I get the most is, “you don’t look 6 months pregnant!!! Your tummy look so small!!!” :( I’ve been wondering if baby is growing well, hearing such comment definitely doesn’t make me feel any better. Someone just recently said to me, “you don’t look pregnant at all wearing black color”. T__T Now my appetite is slightly better, when it comes to food that I like, I eat more.

Oh, doctor confirmed during the last check-up that it’s a girl! Actually, I have been feeling that this would be a girl. Even the name got stuck in my head since few months ago. Now I understand why the name came to me all of a sudden, “light at the end of the tunnel”. Just when I thought hope was dim and wanted to give up, there she is. :)

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My precious at 23 weeks and 4 days. She’s growing absolutely well. :)

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Pumpkin Grows

Finally, I can breathe a sigh of relief. Seeing baby is so active and doing great on the screen, really made me feel relieved. We could see those long legs, tiny hands, a little bit of her fingers, spine, her feet…… I was in awe with the ultrasound technology. Hahaha.

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 Doctor was trying to determine her gender, he finally said, “95% a girl, but we shall confirm that again in your next visit”. I was so happy to hear that! I’ve always wanted a daughter! Not that I don’t want a son, I’d still be happy if it’s a boy.

Two days ago, a sudden thought scared me. There’s going to be someone who will call me “mom”!!! I just can’t believe that I’m going to be a mother (in fact, am already considered a mother now). When I asked Andrew, “can you believe that soon someone will be calling you daddy????” He choked and laughed, he said he never thought of that. Hahahahaha.

Sometimes, I still feel guilty. Months ago when I found out I was pregnant, I was disappointed. There was once I even secretly wished for miscarriage. I realised how selfish I was the moment I saw her growing so well on the ultrasound.

I’m sorry, pumpkin. You’re the unexpected miracle. We can’t wait to hold you in our arms. :)

My Little Pumpkin

Went for my third check-up when I was 8 weeks, baby is growing and this time, we heard the heartbeat. Nothing is more comforting than hearing it loud and clear. I’ve had 2 pregnancies before and never got to hear the heartbeat. Doctor was waiting for the baby to move/wiggle, but no, lazy bum didn’t want to move at all. LOL!

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Baby at 8 weeks 1 day

My morning sickness was getting worse. Doctor gave me an injection which claimed that it would at least keep the sickness at bay for 2 days. My foot! The next day I was feeling sick again. Lost 1.3kg in 2 weeks, record breaking! Even when I worked my ass off in the gym for a month I couldn’t even lose 1kg!!!

I’m feeling slightly better this few weeks. Some days I would feel totally fine, only a little nauseous, but there were days the morning sickness would be so bad that I could hardly eat anything. I’ve been taking day off and sick leave, colleagues are wondering why I am so weak lately. Hahahaha.

Last Saturday went for another check-up, I was so nervous during the whole week. I was so scared that I would see the baby shrunk, which was what happened to the last pregnancy. Or no more heartbeat…… Or baby not growing…… Doctor kept reassuring me that as long as I have the morning sickness, it’s one way to tell that the baby is growing. When the ultrasound showed a baby shape, my heart skipped a beat. Holy-moly! Three weeks and the baby has grown so much!!! Doubled in size! We could see the legs and arms clearly! The funny part was, when doctor switched to 3D scan, the baby pulled her right hand up, sort of like waving! Little rascal! Hahahaha.

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Baby at 11 weeks 4 days

Not sure why, I started showing the day I came back from the check-up. That evening, I was wearing a polo-tee and it felt so tight around my waist, I could see the tummy! Guess the baby thinks she doesn’t want to hide anymore!

Today, I am officially 12-week. The tummy is even more obvious! I just wish my colleagues wouldn’t notice it so soon.

12 weeks
12 weeks

My worry is not over, but I can only hope for the best and stay positive.