Life is the art of drawing without an eraser ~ John W. Gardner

Work

IDIOTS

Do you believe that the more you deal with idiots, the more likely you will become one too?

What do you do when you’re surrounded by idiots?

I still can’t seem to handle idiots well. I still get agitated by them. Especially when they do idiotic stuff that really push me to the edge. ARGH! Someone said don’t argue with idiots, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with it. It is easier said than done. :(

Recently, I start to feel like I am an idiot too. :(

If I were any smarter, I would have gotten out of this hell hole and stop complaining.

My heart is singing,

Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through it
Somebody save me
I don’t care how you do it, just stay, stay
C’mon, I’ve been waiting for you.

When will my superman come to my rescue? T__T

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Freaking Busy

I am so sorry for the lack of activities here.

I’ve been extremely busy with both my work and personal life.

Been busy preparing for the company’s dinner, which is tonight. It’s all about dinner, dinner and dinner since January. On top of that, I have my daily work and other deadlines to take care of. I think I am going crazy if things continue to move in this pace.

I am not doing everything alone, I have others to help. However, things will either end up getting messed up, delayed or not as expected. Most of the times I’m cleaning up the mess, making calls, chasing for answers, making decisions for others and worse, take everything back and do it on my own. I’m not trying to say that they’re not doing their job, it’s just that if I can’t get things done the way I want, what’s the point of delegating then? If I have to make all the decisions, why do I delegate then? Perhaps, I’m not a good team player and leader. :(

Grandma passed away last Thursday. :( She had a fall on Chinese New Year’s eve. Her health deteriorated since then. It was so heart-breaking to see her lying there getting weaker and weaker and there was nothing we could do. She was still responding to my words and all of us thought she would get better. We were very close to her when we were kids and now that she’s gone. Mom was so devastated. I felt even sadder to see mom so heart-broken. She is so thin now……

I was so busy at work, that I did not even have time to grief or cry when I received the news. I had to swallow all my tears and finished my work before I headed home. No one except my superior in the workplace knows about the news. I am sad that no one cares about how I feel at work, but I am also proud that I could hide my emotions so well that no one knows what’s happening.

Sometimes, you just gotta go through some difficult times to see people/things clearer.

Sometimes, you just gotta experience the heart-breaking moments to appreciate what is important.

Sometimes, you just gotta swallow it all, and live on.

How great life is, constantly busy dealing with our own emotions and feelings. On top of that, we still have to take care of the feelings of others. How tired life is.

P.S.: You’ll perhaps continue to see more inactivity here. After the dinner I will have another project to work on and the deadline is in a month’s time. I will try to write, I will try.


Colleagues

Some of you may wonder, why I never blog about my co-workers/colleagues/peers (whatever you call them).

I have this principle, I don’t bring my working life into my personal life and vice versa.

My colleagues do not know my friends, and my friends have never met my colleagues. The people I know from both worlds, never “collide”. :) Only Andrew met my colleagues.

Why do I have such a weird principle? Well, it is because I am a different person in two different world. If you ask my colleagues and friends what they think of me, you’ll most likely get 2 different answers. Both of them can be right about me. We all behave and react differently under different circumstances. Plus, there are things that you are not supposed to share with your colleagues and there are things at work that you’re not supposed to share with your friends.

I tend to be a more carefree person when I’m with my friends. I get to be myself, talk nonsense and say things that I know I can never say with my colleagues. My friends won’t judge me.

When it comes to my colleagues, I am a little more reserved. I have to work with them, so there are things that I know I should not do or say. There would be times where I accidentally let my carefree self out, they would be so surprised and convinced that I was NOT being myself on that particular day. For they do not know, that IS ME.

I do have colleagues that I am close with and they’re friends too. However, they still do not get to see the other side of me. We see each other at work, occasionally we have dinner together, and that is it. I treat them as my friends, but I hardly pour myself out on them. When I want to do that, I go to my friends who are not my colleagues. I do not bring my personal life to work and I do not want to develop a personal life in the workplace. This is where I work and it requires me to be professional if not all the time, most of the times. I can’t allow a personal relationship that will affect my decision.

I can’t avoid the friendship in workplace. After all, I see my colleagues more than I see my friends. It is only natural that colleagues develop become friends. The friendship between my colleagues and I are unique. We are close, but not close enough.

I do not want to introduce my colleagues to my friends too, I would like to keep that “line” clear.

Fortunately, I am good in balancing both worlds. Tiring? Sometimes. Good that I have Andrew to go to whenever I need a break from all of them. :) I am my true evil self when I’m with Andrew, every little dark side of me is unleashed when I’m with him. No one would wish to see that. Hahahahahahaha……

My colleagues, are a secret to my friends. They may know the stories in my workplace, but they do not know who my colleagues are.

My friends, are a secret to my colleagues. They have no idea what kind of friends I have.

Do you have another alter ego?


自私

人,都是自私的。

事不关己时就什么都没问题,小事一桩。一旦关连到自己,就呼呼喝喝的,大肆喧闹。

难为别人,就为了自己方便。

怪罪他人,好让自己舒服些。

物,是死的。

人,是活的。

这样行不通,就不能自己想办法吗?!为何要全世界都配合你好方便你办事?!

别人做不到,就不能自己安排吗?!为何要怪罪别人好让自己有台阶下?!

怪了别人,又怎样???还不是要自己想办法吗???!!!

有那样的闲工夫去管别人,为何就不能管好自己?

有嘴巴说别人,就没嘴巴说自己!

别人不能做,你自己就能做!!!

别人不能说,你自己就能说!!!

全都是别人的错,你自己就没错???!!!

想想吧!你没错的话别人干嘛会对你生气!

你若是真那么好,根本就不需要去责怪别人。

你若真是那么好,早就想办法解决事情了。

你没那么好!少装好人了!

自私鬼。


Disappearance

Ermm…… In case you’re wondering (and if you care), I’m still alive and kicking the ass of life. :D

I am SO VERY sorry for not updating my blog for such a long time. Please forgive this busy lady, will ya?

Work is hectic! Yes, hectic. This is the first time I used hectic to describe my work. With the new “thing” in the office, I am cracking my head in so many ways to come up with the best system. Yeah, if you think HR is as easy as payroll processing and paperwork only, you are more than welcome to have my job. I am the change agent, policy maker, policy custodian, “police”, counsellor, adviser, manager, decision maker, planner, organiser, problem solver…… Payroll takes only 1% of my time. What am I doing the rest of the time? Well, I can’t explain everything to you. No one would understand how HR works unless you are doing it. Really, you have not a clue.

Been to a 3-day accreditation workshop last week, so there’s 3 working days lost. Went to a 2-day HR networking event this week, another 2 days gone. All this does not help with the piling workload. After the HR event yesterday, my brain felt like it was going to explode. Too much information going on in there, I do not have the time to digest.

I have too many work issues to think, my brain does not even have the 1% space for other stuff. My life for the past 3 weeks – eat, work, sleep. Oh yes, I have 1 hour of drama-time from Monday to Thursday, that is one drama that I would not miss. Seriously, I’m too tired to do anything.

My head still feels groggy with all the information and knowledge. I need to “pour” some of them out but I just do not have the time, damn it. There are deadlines which are long past the due and I still can’t deliver. :( How I wish I could have someone who is capable enough to take some load off of me.

Well, I hate to say this, but I may not be able to blog as much as I want to in the future. Until I could clear some of the urgent tasks out of the way, I am really sorry for the emptiness here.

Sigh…… My brain and creativity are drained at work…… :(


Occupied

This post is backdated to 20th January 2012. I was writing in the evening and Andrew came to pick me up, didn’t get to finish and post it up.

24 hours a day and 7 days a week is not enough!

I’ve been working like a mad-dog for the past 2 weeks. Okay, I don’t know why I said “work like a mad-dog”, I certainly don’t bark crazily at people. Just…… Argh…… Damn, bloody, freaking busy that is……

Got so upset and angry with the house renovation stuff last Friday. (I’ll dedicate a post to this later on, please bear with me for the time being.)

My work is pouring in dinosaurs and the workload is increasing everyday. No kidding! I always dislike the beginning of the year, it’s my peak season of a year. Appraisals, increments, bonuses, organising Chinese New Year celebrations, HR plans, tax submission, EA forms, reconcile past year payroll, drafting letters and memos for new policies…… Geez!!! I can still go on. It’s worse when my colleague is on lllooonnnngggg MC. Can’t blame her, she didn’t wish for it either. But now I have to do everything and I only have 2 hands and one brain.

The nearing CNY is not helping. Leave me with little of time to prepare, both at work and home.

Today is my last day at work before the Chinese New Year break, right now at 8pm, I am still in the office. Trying to work something out, in the mean time, stealing some time to write this blog post.


不满

不满
太多了

每一字
每一句
听不下去

诸多道理
变成了借口

不悦
太久了

每一分
每一秒
苦忍下去

太多承诺
都成了泡影

不满
满满充斥了一颗心

欠缺的勇气
无以追寻

好想说
靠!老板,我不爽!!!