Half

There it comes
There it goes

Am I writing
Am I stopping

Here you come
Here you go

Nothing you read
Nothing you see

Terrible it seems
Horrible it feels

There I write
There I stop

It comes and goes
Everything ends

In HALF

~ Ashley

P.S.: I have written a few blog posts, all in half! This is what happens lately. When the inspirations come, I put them into words. Then I have to settle something at work. When I return to my screen maybe 1 hour later, I look at what I wrote earlier on, blink my eyes…… F***! I don’t know how to continue!!! Everything, every idea is gone! It’s like my brain has been sucked dry by some vacuum monster. Gone, all gone. This is terrible…… I have 4 blog posts that I written half way…… SIGH……

Every time I see this, I smile. :) – Photo by Andrew at Wat Saket, Bangkok.

Life Is Never Fair

What do you do when you know life is never fair, and will never be fair?

Murderer gets away after murdering someone innocent, and the police tells the family of the victim that, life is never fair.

Someone incapable is elected as a country leader, and the politicians tell you, life is never fair.

Someone who is innocent is convicted to murder and imprisonment of 20 years because of the flaws in the justice system, and you tell him, life is never fair.

Your dog who’s been with you for 10 years dies in a car accident, and your friends tell you, life is never fair.

You’ve been longing for a child for 12 years but you know you will never have one, and someone tells you, life is never fair.

You have a pretty face but you are handicapped, and everyone says to you, life IS fair as the creator gave you some but took away some.

You have a loving husband and a happy marriage but it only lasts 5 years, and all of them say, life IS fair because you have your fair share.

You have 3 beautiful children, a good husband and are young and diagnosed with terminal disease, and doctor tells you, life IS fair.

What do you do?

All of us should stop complaining?

Shall we also stop living the life as want it since life will never be fair? Or life will always be fair?

Life is so unpredictable. So, shall we stop hoping or looking forward to the future?

So, when we are happy or dying, we shall stop being grateful or complaining.

Life is never fair. Or, life is always fair. You win some, you lose some. This is life.

P.S.: If someone were to tell me that life is never fair or this is life when my brother-in-law passed away many years ago, I would have slapped his/her face. Say that (this is life/life is never fair) to his then 3 year-old daughter! Things don’t happen to you, of course you can take a back seat and say that. I’m sorry, I’m just ranting. Too many of unhappy news lately, people around me keep throwing bad news at me. I am so scared and worried, will it be me soon?

I will never reach the top,
I will never succeed in anything,
I will never hope,
I will never fight,
if you always tell me,
that this is life, it is never fair.

Perhaps, I will be contented,
that this is life, it is never fair.

Don’t blame me,
for not reaching the top,
for not succeeding in something,
for never hoping,
for giving up.
That is because, you told me,
that this is life, it is never fair.

~ Ashley (Photo taken on Mount Sorak, South Korea)

Break

Happy halo
Gone for good

Bitter, hello
Stay it would

Feeling so low
That’s my mood

A break or so
Take I should

I need a break!
NOW!

~ Ashley

Feel unhappy lately, both at work and home. No, not because of Andrew. I am happy when I’m with him, it’s the house. Most of the things are still in a mess. The living room is fine, but kitchen is pretty empty, I don’t have utensils to cook. Salt, pepper, cooking oil…… I don’t have any of that to cook. As much as I want to cook, I don’t have what is required to cook.

Still haven’t bought new mattress and bed for master bedroom. We are now sleeping on the mattress on the floor. The old mattress is straining my back, backache is back and is getting worse. Couldn’t sleep well lately. Just gotten the wardrobe settled, finally we can continue to furnish our bedroom and start unpacking the clothes.

You may say that I am exaggerating the wardrobe issue, I can still unpack even if the wardrobe without handles and I can still furnish my room without the wardrobe. Well, unpack and risk getting the clothes dirty? How was I going to open the doors everyday without handles? How to furnish when the room is full with stuff that I can’t unpack? Anyway, it’s over now.

Feeling so helpless at work. I am still doing everything on my own. Boss is expecting more from me. When I concentrate on one thing, I can’t do the rest. So helpless…… He too has said things that I felt uncomfortable with.

Both the house and work is taking its toll on me. I am so tired that I practically do nothing during weekends except house chores. I have not felt so tired before. -__-

I seriously need a break. So people say “take a break” for a reason. I need to take a break.

Hush Hush

Speak softly
Walk lightly
Move gently
Breathe quietly

Hush, hush
For love is fragile

The harshness of words
The rush of steps
The violence of act
The heaviness of breath

Hush, hush
For love is gentle

Love me tender
Love me gentle

~ Ashley

Photo by Ashley – Eureka Skydeck, Melbourne

One Day 2011

One Day,
I met you.
I loved you.

One Day,
You left me.
You hurt me.

One Day,
We met again.
We kissed again.

One Day,
I fell.
I slept.

One Day,
I would choose,
To do it all over again.

~ Ashley

One Day, a heart-wrenching movie. By the time I finished the movie, my heart ached so much.

So near yet so far. It is so painful to see that Emma had to go through so much to be with the man she loved. I just can’t agree to the idea of “love is about self-sacrificing”. On the other hand, how could you let someone who loved you so much to slip away and took ages to realise that you loved him/her too?

Although Emma did get to be with Dexter, it was a short-lived fairy tale. It is just, SAD! :(

I’m grateful, that the man I love, loves me back too. That I do not need to go through a decade of pain and wait for the man to love me back.

Life is too short to not let your loved ones know, that you love them.

Now go, “love” someone whole-heartedly. :)

Love is

It’s been so long since I last blogged. To be honest, I didn’t miss blogging at all for the past 2 weeks! Oh gosh…… Geez…… No!!! I must not let my passion die!!! I want to write!

Love is,
he eats whatever you want to eat even when he doesn’t like it.

Love is,
he goes wherever you want to go even when he doesn’t want to.

Love is,
he still holds your hand even when you’re mad at him.

Love is,
he offers to carry your handbag even when that makes him looks sissy.

Love is,
he will still kiss you even when you have the morning breath.

Love is,
he laughs at your jokes even when they’re not funny.

Love is,
he smiles and calls you “silly” even when you’re clumsy.

Love is,
loving your everything that other men do not love.

~ Ashley

P.S.: Love is, he still loves you even when you’re digging nose. LOL! :D Beat that!

想想
也只是想想

如果
毕竟也是假想

假想
其实都是幻想

幻想
终究是梦想

梦想
亦是种理想

理想
尽管不切实际
还能想想

想想
也只是想想

~ Ashley

Photo by Ashley @ Thistle Port Dickson

曾经

年少轻狂 –
我不曾

情窦初开 –
无对象

如花似玉 –
我没有

窈窕淑女 –
我不是

狂蜂浪蝶 –
白日梦

我是
迟蝶化的蛹

许多花样年华的曾经
却在此时经历

身为人妻
依旧花样年华
是幸福
抑或
不幸?

啊,至少
也算是
曾经

~ Ashley

Photo by Ashley – 12 Apostles, Melbourne

Have

You have
nothing I want
nothing I desire
nothing I need

You have
all that I hate
all that I dislike
all that I detest

You have
your life
your love
your job
that I do not wish to have

I am sorry
I have what I have
Leave me alone

In Love

In love I remain
In trust I maintain
Your respect I gain
Your faith I obtain

In love with you
Together we pursue
Dreams in view
Home we build

Hand in hand
We walk this land
Promises stand
You hold my hand

When the seas run dry
When the sun don’t shine
“Baby do not cry,
My love for you will not die.”

~ Ashley