我变了吗？

有人说
我变了
我说
是吗

卸下面具
做回自己

是快乐
是解放
是自我
也是自私
更是自在

没有了虚伪
没有了假装

不阿谀奉承，错吗？
不随波逐流，坏吗？

有人爱
有人恨
有人骂
有人疼

领悟了

自己快乐
才能带给别人快乐

回头看看
那副被卸下的面具

我
真的
变了吗？

~ Ashley

戴着面具，就像隔着一层玻璃。有时，也只是为了保护自己。

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Living For Pain

It is strange
How you feel about me
How I feel about you

It should not be

It is odd
The way you look at me
The way I look to you

It must not be

It is bizarre
How time has worked for you
How time has worked on me

It can not be

It is not real
This is not real

To not feel the pain
To not see the pain
To not live the pain

It is painful to be awake
It is staying awake that can save me

Save me
Will you?

Save me.

~ Ashley

P.S.: How many of us can really pull ourselves back together after a tragedy? How many of us can really let go and live with the pain? They said, time is the best healer. But they forgot, there is some pain, even the best healer in the world cannot heal. The movie Snowpiercer inspired me to write this. Chris Evans’ character was living with a pain that he cannot let go. We can only try to forget, but we never really forget. We can only pray for the strength to overcome the pain, and live on.

Worth watching, if you can ignore some of the non-logical parts. A pretty inspiring story. Don’t be surprised when you see the Korean language in the trailer. It is a Korean movie, by a Korean director. But the movie is in English, don’t worry. :P

Fair To Be Unfair

I talk
She is offended
She speaks
I become speechless

I do it
She criticises
She does it
I must compliment

I am angry
She calls me sensitive
She is angry
I have to say sorry

I make mistake
She says idiot
She makes mistake
I must forgive

I say no
She says stubborn
She says no
I shall be grateful

I disagree
She says weird
She disagrees
I must agree

Not everyone understands
It is never fair
Not everyone sees
It is difficult
To be that someone
Who is always at the other end
Being told, “it is never fair”

~ Ashley

Sometimes, I wish people would stop saying “it is never fair” to justify their unfair treatments towards others. I so wish to ask them, “can I then be unfair to you since it is never fair?”

Surviving. Praying.

No words
Can describe

No tears
Can define

I wish for nothing
As I can’t wish no more

I dream no future
As I see no future

Beyond sadness
I stand

Above hopelessness
I pray

Life goes on
I go on

Here I am
Standing strong

There you are
Going strong

Against all odds

We survive

~ Ashley

I cannot say enough of how much respect I have for those who’s strong enough to stand by the side of their sick family members. I salute my sister for being so strong to go through all of it from the moment her husband got sick to the day he left, and with a toddler to  take care of. I respect my friend who for the past three years never gave up on her boyfriend (who was seriously injured in a car accident) even when the people around her told her to. He is on his way to full recovery.

For those who’s fighting the battle that can’t seem to win, have a little more faith in yourself and also in your god. Miracle happens when you least expect it. For those who lost their loved ones unfortunately, never lose hope and don’t stop praying. You are already a miracle to be able to be strong for others.

Photo by Ashley, at DMZ, South Korea.

The Memory. The Future.

Have we met?
Have we kissed?
I can’t recall
I don’t remember

I see you
But I don’t know you
I hear you
But I don’t feel you

In my dream
I know you
I feel you
I love you

Is this a dream?
My dream?

Is this a memory?
My memory?

It does not matter now

You are here,
With me

You are,
My future

~ Ashley

P.S. : Inspired by the movie, Oblivion, of what Jack Harper felt.

Photo taken by Andrew on Samsung Galaxy SIII, at Pantai Chendering, Kuala Terengganu (one of my favorite beaches).

希望。等待。

沙漠渴望绿洲

枯井等待雨水

作者寻找灵感

画家祈求创意

生命希望精彩

时间祈愿充足

婚姻盼望美满

家庭但愿和谐

一生皆在

希望与等待之中

有等待，就有希望

有希望，就会等待

你，希望什么呢？

你，等到了吗？

~ Ashley

最近灵感不知跑哪去了，写什么都不顺意。写下写下，一头雾水，全数删除。与其希望灵感自动找上门，不如随手写些什么吧。就在希望与等待之余，灵感来了。原来，有些时候，光是等着，是没用的。:)

Hidden Truths – by Ito

Here’s a poem, written by a friend that I’ve never met. We are a world apart, yet he’s an old friend whom I “met” on the world wide web. Amazing, isn’t it? How the internet can get you a friend of a lifetime. :)

Hidden Truths

why do people hide
why do they choose not to tell
why can’t they just say it

is it so hard
to tell someone
the truth,

blame cultures,
it’s part of the culture to
save face
that’s no excuse

why do people hide truths
why do they choose not to tell
why can’t they just say it

i can’t believe it’s that hard
just say it
say the truth

i will find it more honorable
to say
here is the truth,
rather than to save face.

why do people hide
why do they choose not to tell
why can’t they just say it

I will never know
but when you encounter me
do me a favor
don’t save face

by,
– ito

P.S.: Ros (if you’re reading this), you know that I always tell you the truth. :)

The Word

Say it like it is your last
It is meant to be said
It is meant to be uttered

I wish to be your last
It is what I said

I will never be your last
You did not get what I said

You said, at last

“It was written, in the wind
It was carved, in the sand
The wind blew it away
The rain washed it away”

Do not write
Do not carve

My dear,
It is meant to be uttered
It is meant to be said
Say it like it is your last

~ Ashley

傻。爱。

好傻
追求一份不完整的爱
等待一个不完整的人

好傻
哪怕只是一丁点的爱
就算留住一瞬间的人

好傻
明知是没有未来的爱
明知是来去如风的人

好傻
抛开一切只信你的爱
不顾一切只为你的人

好傻
那么轻却又那么重的爱
那么近却又那么远的人

我的爱没有未来
我的爱并不存在

我们的爱。。。 好傻

~ Ashley

放

是你
让我放不开
是我
学不会放开

痛了
紧紧握着
伤了
静静等着

为何 痛了
还不放手
为何 伤了
还有期望

不听
只因不懂放手
不做
只是不愿罢手

真的痛了吗
真的伤了吗

放手吧
够了

~ Ashley